I was playing my Monday morning 6 am devotional set for the Watch of the Lord this morning and meditating on the verses in John 21 where Jesus and Peter are talking about Peter's denial of Jesus. The Lord asks Peter three times the question, "Peter, do you love me?"
Now, Peter had just come off a major bummer. He knew who Jesus was and yet, when the pressure was on, he denied that he even knew him. Denied friendship with him. Denied allegiance to him.
Peter's answer is interesting to me because he answers three times the same way, "Lord, You know ALL things. You know I love You". Peter wasn't just trying to avoid the issue or put on a good front to hide his shame. He was speaking what he knew to be true.
Jesus did know that Peter's affection and love for Him was real. He had even warned him before, "Hey, you're going to be tested and You're going to deny me, but I'm praying for you."
Jesus knew Peter's heart intimately.
This revelation of having real love for Jesus and Him knowing it about me has been one I have been trying to wrap my heart around for awhile. So today I was just meditating on it. Saying over and over, "You know I want to love You... You know I long to be Yours". I fail daily at doing it well. I daily make choices when, just like Peter, I know better but in the moment I am so weak that I just don't follow through. I fail. I fail often. [I think this is good for me because it teaches me humility (which I truly hope is beginning to take root in my heart)]. But it makes it SO hard to believe that I have any real spark of love in my heart for Him...
So I come to Him, just as Peter did and I say, "Oh Lord, You know I love You..."
The thing is that this is all He requires. He is waiting for us to come to Him, not sweeping our sin under the rug, but, seeking purity of heart, coming before Him in open honesty about our weakness.
Psalm 55:6Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,
and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.
He is not trying to trick and frustrate me by requiring holiness and wholehearted love but then making it impossible to attain. That is exactly the wrong picture that Israel had of His heart in the Old Testament.
Psalm 5516For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
17The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
It's our brokenness that makes Him so tender toward us. He already knows, as Jesus did with Peter, that we are but dust and unable to attain to His Holy standard. He knows us intimately. He is waiting for us to come to Him in this state of emptiness, that He may fill all and be all in all.
He is not trying to make it too difficult. If we will ask Him, He will actually give us grace and the power of the Spirit to live in wholehearted love and consecration to Him.
But we have to ask. We have to say "Oh God, You know I love You [my intention is real, my heart is set on You]... But I am broken and weak and I need Your grace to love You rightly."
It is the humble admission that will garner the grace of the most Holy and Tender Father.
He CANNOT compromise His holy standard in any way but He longs to give us grace to get there. He WANTS us for His Bride. It is why we were created.
He is eagerly waiting our plea. Waiting for us to ask Him to make us lovers of God. He will do it. He alone is able.
Isaiah 30:1818Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you,
and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you.
No comments:
Post a Comment