love and loneliness

I had a conversation recently with someone about love and marriage. (not a DTR, just for those of you who got curious just now). This person was saying that they believe that marriage, partnership between a man and a woman was designed to make us complete in the way we relate to God. So we cannot love him as fully as a single person. (note to my friend: if you're reading this, I am not trying to disprove you, you just got me thinking. I rather enjoyed our talk :) )

As you may guess, this came from a single person who wants to get married. Their scriptural backing was.. understandable. But I feel that this leaves out the whole Ephesians passage on marriage (Eph. 5.. Jesus has a bride) but I'll get to that in a moment.

As a single person I can relate to this thought process. We think that marriage somehow will make us complete. But I'll tell you right now, that I have at least a dozen married friends who will tell you otherwise. We are not incomplete beings without a life-partner anymore than Jesus is incomplete without us.

But I'm getting ahead of myself here...

In this age, I have the *amazing* opportunity to do this thing we call "embracing the ache of a lovesick heart" (thank you Allen Hood) quite often in my life. I think being single it can be even more pronounced because there is rarely the comfort of having a real flesh and blood person to bounce my ideas off of, share fears with, etc , etc. This can cause an ache of loneliness. I am betting 90% of single people can relate to this feeling. And I am betting 100% of those rush to fill that void with something... someone....

Funny thing is, God designed people like this. yes. God did this to me. shocking, I know.

Genesis 2... let's go there, shall we?**

God makes a Garden and puts Adam in it...God and Adam have perfect communion(which tells me I am not incomplete in my relationship to Him without a partner in life)... but then, we do find out later...
Adam needs a partner. It isn't good for Adam to be alone. God brings all the animals before Adam.... each one passes before him... every. single. living. creature.

Who knows how long this went on? there are alot of animals. I am doubting this was an hour on a Saturday afternoon type of deal. And who knows how long Adam was in the Garden before God saw it wasn't good for him to be alone anymore!

So God brought before Adam every. single. living. creature.-- all of whom He must have known weren't the right partner for Adam! With each hope, each disappointment... "No, that's not like me.... that's something else.... an Elephant... a Bird.... a Shark...." how must Adam have felt??

Deeper, deeper the ache drives. Try as we might, nothing will satisfy except the One (and I'm not talking about a person here... it's SO much more glorious than that.... but hold on... let me finish!)

Can you imagine the agony he must have felt? Nothing on earth was made for me. Nothing on earth can fill this void.

So God caused Adam to go into a deep sleep.... and took his rib.... and made something perfect for him. (secret: it was His plan all along. the wisdom of God has been perfect since day one. plan A is the only plan!)

Bone of his bone. Flesh of his flesh. Perfectly matched to be equally yoked with him.

"Woman...." Adam said, "This one was taken from me. She is like me. [only prettier]"**


Equally yoked. In his image. Out of His side.

Oh doesn't the familiarity grip your heart!! We were made to ache because we were made in the image of Jesus who laid His very majesty and life down for us while we were yet rebellious sinners!!! He made us in His image to be a BRIDE for Him. What other purpose could we have?! The creation story says it all so well. And then, the Father, put His Son to sleep and out of His pierced side, the wounds of His love for Her, He made a Bride...

Ephesians 5- ESV
³¹ "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." ³²This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

Jesus has a Bride. That's why... a man and a woman become one flesh.... not the other way around.

This mystery... this is the great mystery of Love eternal. Profound doesn't even begin to describe it.

For this reason, in those moments when I feel a little bit alone... when I long for comfort... I remember that the ache of love-sickness was put there to cause me to, ultimately, long for Jesus’ return.... it’s just not enough to have an invisible lover...

We, (appropriately) as a BRIDE, long for the day when we fall into His arms. when we feel His heart beat. when we touch the scars on his hands. When we look into those eyes of fire. Oh Jesus. We miss you.

In that moment, once again I am overwhelmed with love that He made me this way. His wisdom can't be perfected upon. His ways are so good. Even though sometimes I want to throw Allen Hood's teaching across the room and say, "Forget embracing the ache of a lovesick heart!!".... I won't. Because this history... is like buying gold refined in the fire. And one glorious day....

"I'll finally fall into the arms of the Lover....

so take my heart, my mind and strength too. I was made for loving You."

(misty edwards song, Take My Heart. check it out)

My prayer for myself and for you as well is that we would allow ourselves, once again, to feel the ache of loneliness.... and take comfort in the One we truly ache for.

**taken from the KMEDMPV (Kelley Myers Extra Descriptive and Mostly Paraphrased Version)