18 January 2011

New year and a new foundation.

Ok so this post is rather late for a "new years" post but I just wanted to give you a little sneak preview of what this blog will become in the new year... there is a lot of transition coming for me in the next two months and I am very very excited about what the Lord has done and is doing and will continue to do in my life.

I really just have been pondering the goodness of God and His tender leadership in my life. I know that we all can look back on the past year and say, "wow, I am so different than I was a year ago". It is especially true for me this year. I am amazed. I just wanted to share a little testimony with you to start things off.

So at the beginning of last year, I was planning to go to IHOP to become a missionary to victims of human trafficking. I am sure some of you will remember that. Well almost this very week last year, the Lord spoke, the internal audible voice of the Lord, and told me, "If you stay here in the House of Prayer, you will never be sorry". I have never known another way than to say yes to Him and as I did, He began a wonderful work in my heart.

Looking back, I think I would call this year the year of de-construction.

I had a pretty skewed vision of love and a pretty skewed vision of myself and a pretty skewed vision of Jesus at that time. So piece by piece, He faithfully and lovingly tore apart every notion that I held about all of these things.

It was one of the most painful times I can remember. Have you ever really just come to the end of yourself? That's what happened to me this year. Everything I thought I had, everything I thought I was, everything I thought I knew, completely obliterated.

But somehow through all of it, something grew in my heart. The knowledge of His character. Of Who He is. And then, when I thought I couldn't bear it any longer...

breakthrough. the assurance of His love for me. He lifted my head when I had gone as low as I could go.

You know what that does? It makes you fall in love. It makes you confident in Him.

It gives you a firm foundation to stand on. A foundation I lacked and desperately needed. See, my desire to "go" and "do" was not so misguided, I was just so unprepared. He is faithful and good in His leadership when I have no understanding.

So that's my testimony. This past year, I got a new foundation. I feel like I have just begun now. I know that I will look back each new year and marvel at the works of His hands. He is so faithful.

Stay tuned in the months ahead, I'll be posting more specifically what the Lord is leading me into. It's all very exciting. :)

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