Reflections of a new intercessory missionary.

Sitting in the San Francisco airport, waiting for my flight back to Redding. I've been gone three weeks and one day. I am ready to be back to my Redding home, but as usual, flights are delayed.

The past three weeks have been really phenomenal and included three harp and bowl sessions, a couple dozen coffee/breakfast/dinner dates with AMAZING people, lots of good family time, and half a dozen worship services, and a few other unexpected ministry opportunities. It's been packed with alot of doing, but it really has been fruitful.

I had alot of amazing opportunities to minister worship to and with some of the best people in the world. Wooster, you hold a very special place in my heart.

Fundraising went good as well. This whole "quitting my job to become an intercessory missionary" thing has definitely been a learning experience so far. The Lord often just takes my well laid plans and twelve step processes (and boy do I like a good twelve step!!) and just throws them out and does something totally different. He is faithful, above all. That I know for sure.

I have learned so much in three weeks...

1. My own strength will always fail. But He doesn't ever. He is so good to me.

2. I LOVE the house of prayer. (Ok, to be fair, that's nothing new, but this has really rooted my love for it even more.

3.I love teaching people about the House of prayer. I love planting the seed of a value for prayer and worship. I think it might be my favorite thing ever.

4. I can be a prayer leader, worship leader, chorus leader, and band-- at the same time. Oh yes I can. hahaha.

And really so many other things, but I am jet lagged and can't quite process it all

I find myself often these past couple of weeks asking the Lord, "Why are You so nice to me?"

In all of my journey-ings the past couple of years I have become painfully aware (and yet still, have only barely scratched the surface) of my weakness. My disobedient nature. My inability to do things well. I remember sitting on the plane from Redding three weeks ago thinking, "Wow, I am so in over my head. I have not done as much as I should. Things are not responding how I need them to. I don't have an INCOME anymore". I started thinking to myself over the next few days, "yeah there's going to be a fallout. I am doing this really badly, I am going to fail, etc, etc, etc." on and on and on...

And in the middle of the first week the Lord spoke to my heart and said, "Your own understanding, your own strength, your own striving is not enough for this journey. Enough."

And He totally dismantled the pride and fear surrounding me and began to do things that I probably wouldn't have expected Him to. I know my weakness and yet I still see His faithfulness and I really do ask myself, "Why Lord? Why did You choose me for this incredible thing called the house of prayer? Why do You keep providing even though I don't do everything (and really not anything, exactly) right? Why are You so kind to me?"

I'll confess, I still don't understand why. I might never really grasp it. His faithful nature is just so much more than I can wrap my mind around. He is so good.

So so good.